B&E

For B&E/ Business and Enterprise me and my group are making rock candy.
My group name is JMJC. J for Josh. M for Mathew. J for Jared and C For Cody
Hopefully we will make a profit.

My pet choice writing

Last weeks writing: A pet of choice

I chose a velociraptor.

This was our instructions

• Write your draft in the Draft section of the table below, in the box by your name.
• Provide Feedback on your writing buddy’s draft writing in the Feedback section of his/her writing box.
• Read the feedback from your writing buddy.
• Copy your draft writing into your Final box and revise this based on the feedback you have received.
• Assess the final version of your own writing for ideas using the Writing Rubric.
• Peer-assess the final version of your writing buddy’s writing for ideas using the Writing Rubric.

Now time for my draft

Draft:

Can I please have a velociraptor for a pet?

A raptor is a good pet because it can take me to schoolz, it just needs a small bed like a dog bed and we can teach it to follow commands.

I can take care of it and it easy to feed its easy to. It’s also easy to transport.

The feedback that I got was:

I can only see one little problem in your writing and that is that you have only like 2 to 3 sentences.
Overall you have provided me with information I was not aware of. Perhaps you could give me more
information.- Kade

So now its time for the final

Final:

Can I please have a velociraptor for a pet?

A raptor is a good pet because it can take me to school. It just needs a small bed (like a dog bed).
I can also teach it to follow commands.I can take care of it. It’s also easy to transport and easy to feed
too.

So can I please have a velociraptor?

My assessment

Assessment:	Self	Peer	Teacher
Ideas	3	4	4