This was my instructions:
Title: A strange thing happened on the way to school today
Make up a story about something strange that happened on the way to school. Make sure you:
- have an orientation (where, when, who)
- describe the main characters
- tell me about a problem that happened
- tell me how the problem was solved
- end with a conclusion
- have a clear message, theme or moral.
Draft:
A strange thing happened on the way to school today.
I was scootering to school one day, When a meteor pod came down. BOOM!
I walked towards it. ARGH! IT WAS A ZOMBIE. I ran as fast as I could and jumped in a crashed truck. I tried to start it but it just wouldn't. Then it did. I drove off and parked in an alley and they ran right by me.I jumped in the back of the truck and realised it was a mobile armory truck. Bang! Bang! Bang! They found me. I grabbed an RPG, A Scar-L and a Revolver. Also a Hatchet. I kick the door open and run. I ran and ran, and I also accidently dropped my hatchet and revolver.
My only option was to run into the big science building. So I did and locked the door. I ran up the steers to the third story. I smashed the window with a chair. Boom! I shot a rocket and then I got my Scar out and started shooting. I took down the whole hoard. Then I blew up the meteor pod.
I picked up my bag and stuffed the weapons and I ran home and went to be
The feedback I got given.
I like how you gave us lots of information on the topic. I would like you to add more information about the problem. For example detail about how it looks, how it was doing what it was doing.
You forgot to add a title and the title adds a bit more information about the topic. I like how you gave us some detail about what you were doing but you might like to give us more detail about how you were going to school. Maybe you could give us more detail of where the meteor was seen to be going. You have given us a lot of detail about your solution.
What is the moral of this story?
My Final.
A strange thing happened on the way to school today.
I was scootering to school one day, When a meteor came down. BOOM!
It looked like it was fake m
ade out of metal and had a door. It was also glowing green
I walked towards it. ARGH! IT WAS A ZOMBIE. I ran as fast as I could and jumped in a crashed truck. I tried to start it but it just wouldn't. Then it did. I drove off and parked in an alley and they ran right by me.I jumped in the back of the truck and realised it was a mobile armory truck. Bang! Bang! Bang! They found me. I grabbed an RPG, A Scar-L and a Revolver. Also a Hatchet. I kick the door open and run. I ran and ran, and I also accidently dropped my hatchet and revolver.
My only option was to run into the big science building. So I did and locked the door. I ran up the steers to the third story. I smashed the window with a chair. Boom! I shot a rocket and then I got my Scar out and started shooting. I took down the whole hoard. Then I blew up the meteor pod.
I picked up my bag and stuffed the weapons and I ran home Slammed the door shut and went to bed.
The moral of the story is to not go close to weird things.
